The Rich But Dull Life of Sir Percy

Sir Percy on Eye of the Tiger
Hi, I am Sir Percy, also known as the Scarlet Pimpernel. A lot of nobles think I am a hero. As you know, to be a heroic man you must get into shape. I do that by working out. Lifting haystacks, doing get away drills, and more, but when I work out, I have to listen to my theme song “Eye of the Tiger”. That is the best bloody song I have ever heard. It's so awesome at the beginning when they are playing the guitar, and it is like, "Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun." It is so awesome! Then when he hits that high note, I start to scream. When he says, "Just a man and his will to survive," I think of myself because on all the rescue trips, they have never gotten me, and if they had they would have killed me. Then when it says, "You must fight to keep them alive," I think of how I risk my life to not let them die.

Survivor is a jolly good band. How could you come up with a song so brilliant, so uplifting? They must be geniuses? I want the lead singer, Jimi Jamison’s, autograph so badly. He has the most brilliant voice. So next time you see me working out, I will be listening to the greatest song in the world: “Eye of the Tiger”.